21 Things I Learned the Hard Way

So if you're active on Facebook, you've probably seen this list making the rounds. It's a bit of a step away from the regular lewd college humor of TFM, and it's the inspiration behind this post. The summer before my sophomore year of college, I remember getting an influx of questions from my younger friends. "Ola!" they asked me, "Give me some advice about college.. I'm so nervous!"

Besides the generic "DO YOUR LAUNDRY" pieces of advice, I also offered a few personal tidbits. The last two and a half years of my life have been the most eye-opening experience. I have learned more than I thought was possible, and I'm not just talking about the assignments that I'm completing and turning in to get my marketing and entrepreneurial management degrees.

1. You will make mistakes. Some of them will be worse than others. Nonetheless, admit to them, apologize, learn from them, and move on.
2. Being single is the best thing that can - and will - happen to you. Embrace it, and take that time to learn to love everything about you - even the supposed "flaws" you can't stop picking at.
3. You don't need someone else - you just want them. The second you stop needing someone is the second that someone worth wanting comes into your life.
4. You will fail a test... Or three. Cry a little if you really have to, but then take a deep breath, pick up the pieces, and then buckle down and study harder for the next one.
5. Your friends are your rock. There will be moments that will put you in a really, really dark place, and they will be there for you. They will hold you and they will carry you through.
6. That being said, be there for your friends. They'll get into their dark places too, and you owe it to them to help them get out, just like they helped you.
7. Don't internalize your feelings. It's unhealthy and counterproductive. Find a way to express the inner dialogue that's making you anxious, upset, or stressed.
8. Talk out your conflicts. Don't let them fester, and don't resolve them through raised voices and harsh words. Take a deep breath, think about what you're going to say, and then figure out a good solution for both parties.
9. A run can be better than Prozac. Put on your tennis shoes, put some good music in your ears, and just go, even if you're half-shuffling, half-jogging.
10. Be open and willing to try new things. Sometimes, those things will change your entire perspective on the world and will add a new dimension of happiness to your life.
11. Go out on the weekends. Don't let studying and the desire to be a hermit consume your life. Let loose and have fun once in a while, but know your limits.
12. Schedule some down time into your day. Trust me, you have at least an hour that you can devote to doing nothing "productive." Your mental health - and the tension in your neck and shoulders - will thank you.
13. If you make commitments - keep them. It speaks more about your character than you may realize.
14. Not everything in life is fun or enjoyable. Grit your teeth and get it done, it's not going to kill you.
15. Life's too short to sit idly by. Keep learning, keep searching, keep moving forward.
16. It's only awkward if you make it awkward.
17. Don't be afraid to disagree or speak your mind. You have a say in things too.
18. Remember to bring yourself back to the present. Don't get too stuck in the past or in the future - enjoy the now, because it'll be gone before you know it.
19. Learn to be grateful. It's been scientifically proven that people who express gratitude on a regular basis tend to be happier. Practice it and learn that it's true.
20. Your parents have the magical powers to make everything better. Don't forget to go home every once in a while to hug your mom and dad. You'll feel rejuvenated, and they'll be so happy to see you.
21. The people who matter will find a way to stay in your life. Those who don't will fall away. Let them.

xx
ola